British Humour

The British Daily Telegraph newspaper has recently published a book containing some of the best reader’s letters they received but never published. They are a great example of British humour at its best and in many ways I think those of us who read newspapers on line, tend to look at the readers comments with more interest than the news article.
Although it is very much a ‘British Thing’, many other nations still fail to understand our humour. Here are some of them. Enjoy

In praise of progress
SIR – My first thought on seeing your headline, “Pupils to be taught about sex at seven” was, “What, in the morning?” When I was a child, the school day began with prayer. But you can’t stop progress.
Peter Homer, Highworth, Wiltshire

SIR – I’ve often wondered whether Britain’s education system is in a state of decline. Then I visited Google and started to type, “Can I get…”. Before I finished my query the first suggested search in the drop-down list appeared: “Can I get pregnant from a dog?”. Now I know.
Robin Whiting, Castle Rising, Norfolk

SIR – A current West Sussex NHS advertisement on the back of a bus states: “You are twice as likely to have unprotected sex after heavy drinking”.
Another pint, please, landlord.
Robert Price, Haywards Heath, West Sussex

SIR – There is a brilliant and simple solution to the controversy over racial profiling at airports. All passengers will be required to step into a booth that scans for explosive devices and automatically detonates any device found. Harmless individuals will be released immediately after being scanned. Muffled explosions, contained within the booth, will be followed by an announcement that a seat has become available for standby passengers.
It’s a win-win for everyone.
Robert Readman, Bournemouth, Dorset

SIR – The EU states that a small calf transported by rail must be afforded a space of between 0.3 metres and 0.4 metres squared in which to travel.
I was wondering to whom I should write to complain about the fact that my feet didn’t touch the floor for 45 minutes on the 15:44 to Sevenoaks from London Bridge last night.
S.B. Sevenoaks, Kent

Tanned Tony
SIR – I don’t believe you should judge a man by the colour of his skin, but in the case of Tony Blair I’ll make an exception.
Ralph Berry, Stratford-upon-Avon Warwickshire

SIR – Anyone feeling slightly envious on learning the extent of Tony Blair’s wealth should console themselves by remembering that he’s married to Cherie.
Lawrence Fraser, Elgin, Moray

Sporting figures
SIR – Whose idea was it to stage the World Cup during the cricket season?
Mary E. Rudd, Pevensey Bay, East Sussex

Radio gaga
SIR – What on earth is going on at Radio Two? We’ve got Graham Norton sitting in for Chris Evans in the morning, and Dale Winton covering Steve Wright in the afternoon. It’s as camp as a row of tents.
Throw in Alan Carr for Ken Bruce next week and we’ll have a full-on jamboree.
Steve Brennan, Glenmavis, Lanarkshire